hi. For some background I am 17 and struggle with quite a few (untreated) mental health issues. I have ODed, self harmed amongst other things. My parents refused to believe I had something wrong in my brain and told me I was a brat, it was a phase, for attention etc. They take my phone off me at nine every night as well as check it and they don't let me on any social media (I have learnt how to be sneaky as a result) and they expect me to go to sleep at nine also. even if I stay up reading until half past they get annoyed. I have to ask permission to go out and they sometimes go through my room when I am not in. If anything happens they tell people even when its personal such as when I overdosed (the night I overdosed my dad made jokes about it, while I wa still in the hospital) they get mad if I am not happy, I am not allowed to answer back and if I want to do something such as when I wanted to do a certain college course, they didn't like how I had to travel A WHOLE hour away so made me decline it. They also generally make me sound like a brat and a child who doesn't know anything saying things such as "youre only 17!" while also telling me I need to grow up and start acting like an adult. I tell my friends about it and they tell me to move but one I cant afford it and two when I mentioned moving out to my parents they gof mad. I cant do this much longer. please please help me. I cant cope anymore. what is wrong with me? why cant I have a normal family?Click to Reveal Answer
Thanks for using cool2talk
It sounds as if you are really frustrated with the situation at home, and also struggling with your mental health and it's possible that the two things are related.
You say that your probelmes / mental health issues are undiagnosed, and so the most important issue here is to get the help you need as soon as possible. A diagnosis for you would mean that the support you need is put in place. You can get this thrugh your school health nurse, who can help refer you, or through your GP. Both of these are confidential, and you can access them on your own. Getting some help may help you feel you have more control over the way you feel, and your emotions and way you react to things. Also have a look HERE at the Young Minds Site, which gives lots of good information and also, information on looking after your mental health.
The situation at home sounds stressful, and from what you have told us your parents are struggling to give you any independance or to trust that you will be OK & able to make good decisions. This will be based on worry and concern, rather than wanting to upset you. It is hard to understand each other during the teenage years.
If you can, try and think about having a conversation. That sounds mad given what you have told us, but maybe a chance to sit down and talk quietly about how you feel, what would help you and a chance for them to also say how they feel & what would help. It doesn't sound as if anyone is happy, so maybe a good starting point is to say, we are all unhappy, can we talk?
Be prepared to listen, to stay calm (even if it feels unreasonable), to look for solutions & to compromise. Maybe you can find some middle ground.
Do think beyand this...can you get away to study? Get a student loan & live independantly? Can you get a live in job somewhere? Think about your options and what you would liketo do. You won't have to live at home for ever.
We hope that this has been helpful, take care & come back any time.
How did we do on cool2talk today? Please fill in this quick survey
I posted there other day about sudden dip in my mental health since I got the implant in a week ago. I was totally fine before, I have a 6 month old daughter who I really love more than anything, I keep having thoughts like ‘what if I hurt her’ or telling me that I don’t even love/want her. I do very much and I’m so distressed and disturbed by the thoughts they just won’t go away. I’m really hoping I will feel better when I have my implant out today but I’ve really enjoyed being a mum and I’m terrified that it’s all about to be ruined. I know it sounds like post natal depression but I was totally fine until last week I’m so confused and worried that doctor etc will think that I’ll hurt her or that I don’t love her. If my mental health is being affected by the implant how long does it take to get back out of my system? It may be a coincidence but I don’t know. Would medication help the thoughts to go away? What does this sound like? Thanks sorry it’s longClick to Reveal Answer
Please don't apologise about the length of your question. Giving us lots of information helps us to answer you fully.
We hear how scared you are by these thoughts and it's plain to see that you are a loving mum who wants to look after her baby well. Becoming a mum can be really tough, both physically and emotionally.
It may be that having your implant removed will help. We're glad someone's listened to you and agreed to remove this. There is no set limit of time for things to improve but you should notice a gradual change if the implant has been affecting your mood.
It's really important to talk to someone about how you're feeling, even if you get the implant taken out. You won't be judged or seen as a bad mum, so many women struggle with overwhelming thoughts after having a baby. This is completely normal and people can help.
These feelings can come out of nowhere, maybe lack of sleep is building up or you're just starting to process the enormity of what it means to look after a little person.
Talk to your health visitor and try to be very honest, we can guarantee you that they will have heard all of this before from other mums. They can give you space to talk and also refer you for further support if you want or need it.
Talking can really help you to feel less alone and it can help you to see things differently.
If talking to someone face to face feels too difficult please come along and use our 121 service. This is a available tonight between 8 and 9pm and you can chat online to a trained worker. CLICK HERE to find out more about this service.
We hope this has reminded you that you're not alone, these feelings can pass even if it doesn't feel like it just now. Please come back to us at any time if you need to.
How did we do on cool2talk today? Please fill in this quick survey
hi, thank u in advance, so, my bmi is underweight, not by much, but underweight, everyone tells me im skinny but i see myself as fat i hate it and i think about food all the time ALL THE TIME. my periods used to be fairly regular, each cycle only varying by a few days. 2 cycles ago my cycle was 52 days long and the cycle im currently on lasted 17 days. im scared incase ive lost so much weight (around 1.8 stone) that my periods r becoming irregular and less heavy. ive become so obsessive and i cant stop thinking about restricting then i end up binging and then i start to cry. imthe label of having an ed scares me but i dont know what else could be happeningClick to Reveal Answer
We can hear how worried you are about your present relationship with food, you have recognised that from your BMI, also what others are saying, you must be underweight, yet you see yourself as fat. Your periods seem to have become irregular, which can also happen if you are underweight. You also recognise that your obsession with food, be that not eating or eating large amounts is a concern.
An eating disorder is generally described as an unhealthy relationship with food. Commonly associated with a situation where you believe you are fat when others say you are thin. It is a mental health issue and can cause serious physical and psychological problems.
The causes of an eating disorder are often very complex; they can be genetic, so someone else in the family may have had it. It can be used as a coping mechanism for anything stressful, such as family problems, school issues, and relationship breakups.
- Feeling anxious, or having low self-esteem.
- Feeling pressured into being slim, like being a ballet dancer for instance.
- Being bullied can lead to an eating disorder.
These are just a few of the causes, there are many more.
If an eating disorder is not treated it can have a devastating effect on all areas of your life, emotionally and physically it can in fact lead to death.
It is essential that if you want to recover, you must be referred to specialist services who can support the recovery but it can take a long time.
To help recovery it is essential to address the underlying psychological causes for it happening in the first place, there are various therapies available and after assessment the most appropriate support would be offered.
An eating disorder cannot be tackled alone so you need to speak to your doctor to be referred on.
There is an extremely helpful website that you can visit to find out more information and get support online CLICK HERE to find this website.
We hope this has been helpful, please come back if you need to speak more about this, or even access the 121 service CLICK HERE to read about this service
How did we do on cool2talk today? Please fill in this quick survey
I think I have anxiety but I'm too scared to admit it or ask someone for help. Today I had a rubbish day and when I heard people were making things up about me I could literally feel my heart beat faster and my hands shake and I felt sick and I was about to cry but I couldn't. I pretended everything was ok but I was actually tense and terrified for the whole day. I felt like I wanted to be invisible. I usually keep to myself quite a lot and don't tell my family stuff but I don't know why to do. I'm basically getting panic attacks for the littlest arguments with my friends or even walking into school by myself. Most people think of me as confident but I just feel like crying and then I think about dying. The only reason I don't commit suicide is because I want to see what has changed in 20 years or so. But I don't know how much I can take, I really need help .Click to Reveal Answer
Thank you for contacting Cool2Talk.
Anxiety is a word used to describe feelings of worry and fear. It can include both the emotional and physical feelings we might have when we are worried or nervous about something. Like knots in your tummy, feeling sick, your heart racing, panic attacks, feeling out of control or unable to sleep. Although it can feel uncomfortable, anxiety is a biological response to feeling threatened.
Everyone feels anxious sometimes. For example, stressful situations like exams or arguments with your friends might make you feel nervous or worried. While the situation is happening you may find it hard to sleep, eat or concentrate. These feelings usually disappear after the stress of the situation has stopped. You can read more about anxiety HERE.
Because stress and anxiety is common it can be hard to tell if it's becoming a problem. If you feel worried all of the time, the feelings are overwhelming and it's affecting your life and stopping you from getting on with things then you may want to get some support from your GP.
Thoughts of suicide are not uncommon and can be really scary. Feeling suicidal can happen to anyone and can be brought on by many different issues. It can equally be there and you might not even understand why you feel that way. We can hear that you feel certain you would not actually act on these thoughts, that does not make them any less scary and you would find that that talking about them would lessen the burden of having them.
If speaking to someone about your anxiety or suicidal thoughts face to face feels too hard, you could come to the 121 first and talk to the counsellor here on a Monday, Wednesday and Thursday evening between 8pm and 9pm, CLICK HERE, register, have a look around and read how it works, then return when she is available and log in for a chat.
As we can only guarantee an answer within 24 hours we are not the best service to use if you are feeling suicidal. You can call Childline on 0800 1111 or The Samaritans on 116 123 at any time. These are dedicated services who can support you with these thoughts.
We hope this has helped you feel you are not alone, please come back if we can help further.
I have eupd and I feel things very intensely and none of my friends understand this. I don't know how to explain to them I can't come out because I'm so low and can't even get out of bed. I feel like a bad person for letting them down.Click to Reveal Answer
Hi, thanks for you post.
For others who might not know about EUPD (or emotionally unstable personality disorder), you will experience a range of intense negative emotions such as rage, sorrow, shame, panic or terror. Your mood will often swing in unpredicatable ways from feeling very low to feeling ok a little while later.
Having EUPD, you may feel that other people abandon you when you most need them, or that they get too close and smother you. Both of these can leave you feeling anxious and upset about your friendships and other relationships.
Being open about your diagnosis and explaiing how it impacts on how you are feeling and therefore your ability to spend time with your friends will really help to have good relationships with them. But we understand that this can be daunting, and quite hard to do. Do you have one friend in particular who you feel closer to? Maybe you could start by talking with them about how EUPD impacts on you and the kind of things they can do to be supportive. Once you're feeling more confident about it, you could begin to chat with the others.
If you're really worried about it, is there a supportive adult who could help you have the conversation? Perhaps a parent/carer or a youth worker? Having someone with you who can help explain the impacts might take the pressure of you a little.
Next time you see your health professional (doctor, nurse, consultant etc), have a chat with them too about sharing your illness, they might have other suggestions.
Having EUPD and not feeling able to join in with everything your friends are doing does not make you a bad person - true friends will understand the impacts of EUPD and will be supportive.
Good luck! And come back to us anytime.