Why Is It Important?
Sex should be pleasurable. This doesn't mean that it's always perfect. And it never really happens like it does in films. Sometimes it takes a bit of practise and it's important that you know what you need to have in place for sex to feel good. Everyone will be turned on by different things. But there are a few things that can really help.
Feeling relaxed and in control of your own experience can make any sexual activity more enjoyable. If you can communicate with your partner about what you like and don't like you're both much more likely to enjoy yourselves. Although it may feel embarrassing or strange at first, being open about sex is one of the first steps towards enjoying it. Your brain is a sexual organ as well as the more obvious bits of your body. That means you may need more than just touch to get turned on. Good communication means you're more likely to have pleasurable sex and more likely to feel confident about what you're doing for your partner. It's a win/win situation. You can communicate through words or through actions. For example, moving your partners hands to a place you want to be touched or moving position. Remember, you both need to agree to this. If you want to know if your partner's happy with what you're both doing, ask.
Thinking about all of these things in advance can help you to concentrate on making sex fun, like it should be!
Does Everyone Feel Sexual Pleasure?
It’s OK not to be ready for sex, or to not want sex just now. People have different sex drives and this can change throughout your life. There are lots of double standards around and we've all heard the names girls get called if they do have sex. And if they don't. Boys can also feel lots of pressure to be sexually active. At the end of the day having sex is a personal choice. It might not feel good if you're doing it to please someone else or prove a point.
If you're having sex and it doesn't feel good then tell your partner. Work together to make it a better experience for both of you. Not being aroused enough, feeling pressured or even being in an awkward position can stop sex from feeling pleasurable. Sometimes you may just not be in the mood, and it's okay to change your mind about having sex at any point.
Some people do not have any sexual feelings or desire towards others. This can be described as asexuality. Asexual people may still feel aroused and some will masturbate. They just don't want sex with other people. You can read more about asexuality here
Masturbation means stimulating or touching your own body for sexual pleasure. Some people never do it and some people do it loads. Most people sit somewhere in between. Like sex, it's a personal choice. Both girls and boys masturbate and it's a safe and healthy way to get to know your body and what turns you on. If you know what you like it's easier to tell your partner if you do choose to have sex. Masturbation can also help to relieve stress and may even help you to sleep better. You can read more about masturbation if you CLICK HERE